Tag: Mistakes

Making Mistakes

There is not a person alive who has not made at least one mistake over the course of their life. Mistakes are a part of the human experience. How we react when we make a mistake is the most telling part of who we are as a person. The human instinct when a mistake has occurred is to attempt to cover up the mistake. We want an endless supply of white-out. Okay, I realize that many young people have no idea what that product even is anymore. Maybe a better illustration would be our desire to have a backspace key on the ready at all times. The point is that we hope that no one else notices the mistake, and we can eliminate the evidence as soon as possible.

Times occur when we cannot eliminate the evidence of our mistake. So we may attempt to justify the mistake or blame someone else for it happening. We want to reduce our responsibility for the mistake as much as we possibly can. The mistake does not go away, but we feel better about ourselves if we can become a much smaller player in whatever has led to the mistake in the first place.

We deal with some mistakes by trying to repress it. Our efforts are directed toward hiding the mistake. We may choose to not talk about it with anyone and if they bring up the mistake in conversation, we change the subject as quickly as possible. Putting the mistake out of our thoughts becomes the goal. Max Lucado once described this approach in this way, “That’s like walking around with a pebble in our shoe—it causes us so much frustration that our whole body compensates for its presence, when all we have to do is take it out and toss it away.”

Some mistakes in life are minor and have little impact on others or life in general. Other mistakes have a significant impact. The key is stepping up and being honest about mistakes which we make. We have to take ownership of the mistake and where necessary apologize and seek forgiveness. This approach does not cover up the mistake but it can be a tremendous step in correcting the mistake. Healing can take place once the mistake is out in the open. We are able to move forward without having to hold on to the mistake.

God is aware of the mistakes we make whether we are willing to own them or not. God does not need us to admit our mistakes. Yet, God knows that if we are to heal after making a mistake, we need to admit it. The Church has come to term this as confession. The terminology we use is not important but the act is very important. If we do not admit our mistake, then it is just as Lucado states, it is like a pebble in our shoe which brings us discomfort, pain, and endless frustration. The promise which God gives to us is that our mistakes are forgiven and forgotten. They are tossed away as Lucado suggests.

Making a mistake is human, admitting it and then letting it be thrown away is the correct response.

Big Picture

Sometimes it can be so easy to get wrapped up in details that you lose track of the big picture. Another way of saying this is the frequently used cliche, “can’t see the forest for the trees.” A person gets so focused on the little details that remembering the initiating goal is forgotten. This often happens in the church. People begin focusing on every detail of a project or how to accomplish a mission that they lose track of why the project or mission came to be important.

In April of this year, I wrote a series of blog posts about the purpose of the Church (see Purpose of the Church, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3). I discussed specific aspects of what it means to be the Church. A one sentence definition which I place before you now is this: “The Church exists to demonstrate the love of God to the world and show what it means to be in relationship with God.” This is the forest which often gets lost in the everyday life of a congregation.

Within the church, we spend too much time arguing about the details of fulfilling the Great Commission (see Matthew 28:16-20). We discuss endlessly in committee and board meetings how much money to spend, who is going to be managing the mission, and how we are going to hold everyone accountable for the mission. We wordsmith everything to make sure that we clearly define boundaries and expectations so that no loopholes or confusion exist. Requirements are established; techniques are evaluated; and limitations are set. Our skills in exhausting the details often exhaust us and in the end any enthusiasm for doing the mission is diminished or destroyed.

The leaders of the congregation cannot be fully blamed for this problem. Part of the blame comes from outside of the church completely. We have become a society that spends a lot of time haggling over the details. If someone does not like the results of work done by a group or an individual, complaints escalate and may even result in litigation. Mistakes are not tolerated or acceptable in our lives anymore. All of this creeps into the church because too often we try to imitate corporations and our human behaviors become the norm inside the church just as they are outside the church.

Another problem that leads to being too wrapped up in the details stems from fear. As mentioned above, we have become intolerable toward mistakes. This creates a fear on each person’s part that she/he will make a mistake which will lead to ridicule and personal attacks. Each detail is hashed out over and over to prevent a mistake from occurring and negative consequences resulting. Our fear of failure rules our actions and choices.

What suffers because of this is the big picture. We are unable to focus on demonstrating the love of God and the meaning of being in relationship with God because we have to get all the details correct. On those rare occasions when we do successfully demonstrate these things, it is often because something has forced us to move away from the details and just do. Thank goodness for the Holy Spirit who encourages these times of being forced away from the details.

If you are a leader in the church, or more importantly a member of a congregation, I encourage you to constantly remind yourself and others of the big picture. Look for those times when the focus on details need to be thwarted. Create an atmosphere which allows mistakes and offers forgiveness. Remind each other that failure is only when action is not taken.

One Person

A pitfall which can be a destructive force within the church is when everything revolves around one person—the pastor. When I was in seminary, one of my professors reminded the class of an important truth, he said that we had to be cautious about everything becoming about us as the pastor. We had been guided on all the important aspects of being a pastor. The importance of building relationships; effectively communicating the Gospel in actions and words; and walking alongside people as they began, continued, or finished their faith journeys were a few of these meaningful insights.

I learned that finding a connecting point with as many members of the congregation as possible was valuable. This did not mean everyone would like me but if I could find a way to connect with them in their lives, I could more effectively serve them as a spiritual support and teacher. Building relationships became important in my ministry alongside those who I had been called to serve.

My ability to communicate the Gospel in a manner which allowed people to incorporate it in their thoughts and lives was a gift that God has given me. This was identified by others before I made the step to attend seminary. Others pointing out this gift from God was one of the aspects of my recognizing the call God has placed on my life. My background in public speaking, which began in high school, enhanced the delivering of the Lord’s message on Sunday mornings. I also have a passion for, and some would say a gift for teaching.

Building relationships and communicating the Gospel became cornerstones to my ministry efforts. There were other areas of ministry which I was not the best at but these which I did possess became valuable in my work. I believe that these two cornerstones also endeared me to many members in the congregations which I have been blessed to serve. However, I was always mindful of the warning my professor gave me and my classmates in seminary. I would remind myself, and sometimes others, that I am called to serve with the people in a congregation for a relatively short period of time but they were called to continue to serve when I had been led elsewhere.

The issue that I see in some situations is that the pastor becomes beloved by members of the congregation. Why this creates problems is that when a pastor becomes beloved, it can be easy for that individual’s ego to become too powerful for her/him to manage effectively. This is only fueled when the congregation loves the pastor so much they fail to see the pastor’s warts. A pastor on a pedestal is bound to take a huge fall one day when their ego and the blindness of the congregation fails to keep the person humble.

Another issue which can arise is that members of the congregation can start abdicating their responsibilities as followers of Christ to the pastor. When there is not equal footing and responsibility within the relationships of the church, everything can easily become all about the pastor. The successes and the failures become the pastor’s. The effectiveness of the ministry is weakened due to the reality that no one person can possibly do everything needed. Pastors make mistakes like any other human being so when this occurs, and it WILL occur, if no shared ministry between pastor and members exists, the mistake can have devastating consequences.

When Jesus gave the Great Commission, it was given to a community of believers. There were apostles, teachers, merchants, fishermen, parents, children, families, farmers, lawyers, and all types of individuals with all forms of gifts and talents. Never was it intended that ministry should ever be about one person. The community of faith was designed to be a COMMUNITY which walked together, laughed together, cried together, learned together, and served together. Nowhere in Scripture does it indicate that one person, the pastor, should be the center of the community and the chief architect of ministry. I have never discovered the finding of an addendum where the Great Commission moved from being a community call to a one-person call.

It is not about the pastor. It is about a community of believers who have a leader who has been given the title of pastor working together to effectively communicate the Gospel to the place and time in which they live. Making ministry about the pastor, good or bad, is a way to destroy the potential ministry which can be done.